Tag Archives: positivity

Five things to start the year — and your life — on track

Suddenly, we’re on the 12th day of the New Year.

If you are reading this — and you have managed not to go crazy, maim yourself, work yourself to death, get defeated by the monsters that live inside your head, continue to be friends with a select but awesome group of people — and basically, continue to be an over-all amazing human being into the new year…

…Congratulations. You made it. We made it.

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Affirmations for 2019

I finally got around to fixing this blog, paying my domain and writing again.

In 2018, I managed to continue disappointing myself on how I didn’t have time for this site – the only place in the world where I can literally be myself and not scare people away.

If you’re still out there, reading this — thank you for sticking around. I tried doing the normal “blogger routine” (you know, spend 25,000 hours attending events, writing about everything in general), but I guess that life is not for me. So, we’re now back to our roots – writing about stuff I really care about. I really don’t know if I will ever try vlogging because being in front of camera scares me and I get too conscious about the little things. But, we’ll see…

Trust me, I have been adulting for the last 15 years of my life and it still doesn’t work for me. It’s confusing and scary and now that I am almost reaching middle age – I’ve become more aware about how I am close to consuming half my time on earth.

dont-grow-up

So what’s your plan for 2019? 

Mine is to become more self-aware and to love myself more. I vowed to start caring about myself: take care of my health, try to lose weight (for my health and sanity’s sake), be more financially responsible and to love and nurture myself. So while I am in the process of rebuilding myself, I thought that my first post is to share the five things I am doing this year that will contribute to my goal of being a better version of myself in 2019.

Guide 1: Unplug and read books. I’m currently reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson and I’m loving it.

subtle art

“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” basically tells us that we give too much f*cks, and we worry about too many things — much to the detriment of our mental health. It’s a nice and easy read, and a lot of the things written make a lot of sense to me. I have yet to finish it, but I am sharing with you some of my favorite lines already:

“Not giving a f*ck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different…”

“To not give a f*ck is to stare down life’s most terrifying and difficult challenges and still take action” 

“Pick and choose what matters to you…”

“The willingness to stare failure in the face and shove your middle finger back at it…”

It just makes a lot of sense to me — I am not ashamed to admit that my mental health took a beating in 2018. Because of too much stress at work, at home and in life in general, my nervous anxiety got worse, I am always stressed and physically sick, and even came to a point that I developed depression due to things piling one of top of the other. I am lucky that I can freely talk to my husband or my sister or my friends when I am in a rut and in a dark place — and that alone saved me last year.

I am excited to finish the book and I hope you’ll also find time to read.

 

Guide 2: Rediscover what makes you happy. Restart your hobbies. In my case, that’s lettering and calligraphy.

if you

I’ve always loved hand lettering, calligraphy and basically, everything that is related to this art. Unfortunately, it also got pushed to the side when I became busy with work. I am really rusty nowadays so I practice by writing verses on my journals. When I am working on a quote/hand lettering, I don’t think about the scripts and reports waiting for me at the office. I just think about making the letters come together and coming up with something beautiful to look at. It relaxes me a lot and I find it therapeutic.

Some might say that they do not have the knack for art. But you know, practice makes perfect. if you have extra budget, you can enroll in one of the many lettering classes in the Metro. The point is, never miss the chance to exercise your creativity.

 

Guide 3: Find your passion. Stick to it. My passion is writing and creating content, either through this blog or through my journals. I have been collecting and writing in journals since I was in primary and now that I am old, I still look forward to the start of the new year just because it also meant new notebooks and new planners for me.

journals2019
2019 Journals (still missing CBTL)

I am currently maintaining three journals, with another one coming in next week for my work tasks and schedule. To some, it may be a lot for that’s something that has been working for me for a long time already. I am using the Starbucks planner for #goalsetting and #dreamjournaling; while the pink 100 Bucket List is for my creative prompts. I have been planning to buy my own Hobonichi Techo Cousins, but the steep price tag turned me off.

 

Guide 4: Start saving early. Build your financial nest egg. If I am being blunt, please do not be like me. Brush up on investments, apply for a savings account and be more financially aware.

Here’s a true story: I started becoming more aware about money, investment and the important of having enough about 4 to 5 years ago. I spent most of my 20s hanging out in bars, and spending like crazy. When I turned 30 and life became more and more complicated, I kinda regretted the times when I should have saved my money. If I have started investing early, I would be reaping the rewards of these investments by now. But as they say, you learn along the way. So now, I spend my money on insurance payments, condo payments and building a deposit nest egg which I can use for emergency.

I am still looking for the best saving strategy because I suck at saving. I maintain a savings and checking account for one bank, but having all three of them registered in the mobile app also made it easy for me to transfer funds and withdraw money also as needed.

Guide 5.  Learn to edit your life. The same way that editing makes a lot of written and creative content look much, much better – it’s only fair that we also apply this in real life. Buy clothes that really look good on you, and not just because it’s on sale. Don’t be afraid to unfriend people on Facebook and in real life if they just contribute to the toxic environment. Commit to improve yourself this year by learning new things. Restart your relationship with God — regardless of your religious affiliation. In my case, I learned that believing in the love and generosity of a Higher Power provided me with an anchor and hope that life on earth doesn’t suck so much.

Closing this post with some of the best moments of 2018. In spite the challenges, pain and trying times last year – I am glad that I survived it to welcome 2019 with a more hopeful and positive disposition. I hope it will be the same for you.

best nine 2018

 

 

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That thing with plus-sized clothing

After I have gained weight about a good ten years ago, one of the gravest injustices to me is finding the right kind of clothes that fits me comfortably while also appealing to my personality.  Sure, I can always go to boutiques or go to Marks and Spencer where my size isn’t even considered plus size but I don’t exactly have the bank account akin to that of Jinkee Pacquiao’s. 

I’ve found out, after constant visits to local department stores, that there seemed to be a prevailing designs and patterns made for you when you are, erm, plus sized. 

the usual patterns

Ten years of fighting the bulge can make you observant. For example, you’ll see distinct designs and patterns in every plus sized clothing selections in any of your friendly department store and in local catalogues. 
Always on top of the list is the use of animal prints. Really? How many tiger print/zebra-print/cheetah-print dresses or blouses will you need when you hit the plus sized range? Not everyone wants to look like  Big Momma. Think about it, whenever there’s a plus-sized clothing collection, there will always be one dress that’s done in animal print. Always. 

Then there’s the typical color block of “light  in the middle, black at the sides” style – which always reminded me of the cruel meme of Kim Kardashian looking like a whale circulated by tabloids at the height of her first pregnancy: 


I know color-blocking is intended to draw the eyes towards the inner colors, thus virtually eliminating the flab, but it’s always a hit and miss. Plus, it will be mortifying if some smarty-pants will complement your clothing by comparing you to a whale. 

Then, there’s the usual use of extra cloth flaps in the middle, shirring on the sides of right around the gut; or the use of really large sleeves to hide the arms. 

I guess the challenge in plus-sized fashion is that people keep hiding their curves rather than embrace them. Sadly, I’ve gone through this when I first started gaining weight. The depression of having additional flab led to me wearing clothes that were just too large for me. Never mind that they are unflattering, never mind that they do not accentuate what was good, never mind that I don’t feel comfortable.

Eventually, I learned to accept that I will never be the same weight compared to when I graduated college. I also learned to be unfazed by callous remarks of some people whose standard greeting was, “you got fat?!” More importantly, I learned to dress for myself. Curvy people can be fashionable and stylish too. And thanks to a lot of inspiration from the Internet and from plus-sized style bloggers, dressing up has become fun.

Note: Photo credit belongs to their respective owners 




Thanks to a lot of emerging plus-sized style bloggers, it is now proven that you can have the curves and still be fabulously and effortlessly beautiful. 

I love Curvy Girl Chic and GabiFresh for their fun and fresh ideas, coupled with effortless yet stylish dressing. These girls know their curves and flaunt it. I think it’s about time we talk about self-love and these girls exude body positivity. 

Every time I see plus-sized clothing and they’re always the typical tried and tired styles, I always tell myself that I could probably do better by heading to the nearest H&M (whose clothes are more curvy-friendly) or Forever 21 or yes, the tried and tested Marks & Spencer. 

Yes, it’s more expensive compared to buying in grocery stores but if this means comfortable and chic dressing, then I’m all up for it. 

If you desire it, it will come

Recently, one of my good friends told me about this book called “The Secret” where it encourages the reader to “think positive” in order to achieve life-changing results. I haven’t finished yet the whole book (I fell asleep with a highlighter in my hand, good thing that the sheets were saved!) but I can say that the book seems a very interesting read, indeed.

One of the passages that I’ve read is that when “you will it, or if you desire it–it will eventually come to you” — I don’t know about other people who have read this book, whatever their heart desires. But me, I could probably say to your face that I am not someone who desires to be filthy rich. Fact is, I don’t need to be filthy rich just to be happy. I just want to have a comfortable life, with enough resources to secure my family’s future and make my parents’ proud. Comfortable enough to travel and discover new culture, comfortable enough to have a career and enjoy what I do, comfortable enough to build something for my mom and dad who worked their asses off their whole lives.

I’ve read that with the launch of the book comes also criticisms from those who think that the book provides false hope by “putting too much emphasis on positive thinking”. And maybe they do have a point.

But as I read last night and I think about last year where I was literally down in the dumps (health, finances, career) — I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of I was just too unlucky or was it because I just have too much negativity in my life?

Last year, I PRETTY MUCH HATED EVERYBODY–my past boss (who I blamed for ruining my blossoming career), my in-laws, the bank, the Hubby and myself… I just have too much hatred crammed inside my little heart. I hated, hated and hated. In the end, I was bitter and I was suffering from too much stress. My body gave up on me, my heart was overworked and hurt, even my veins (for my intravenous medications) gave up on me–thus, I literally have dozens of pinpricks on my hand and arms just to get IV.

On my nth visit to the emergency room at Makati Med–I decided to let go.

I quit my job and moved to another company. I made peace with the in-laws. I fixed my finances. I started to let go of the hate and learn to accept. I learned to be contented with what I have. Eventually, my health improved, my new company appreciated and accepted what I can offer to the table, and even the hubby found a new career. I became more positive. I stopped being hateful.

I am at a better place today and I continue to think positive thoughts. I stopped dwelling on the negative and started looking forward to the best things life can offer me.

I will continue reading “The Secret” with an open mind. As long as it makes me less negative, and makes me open-minded to the blessings that I might attract with my positivity.

Maybe, I can start with this:

here's a part of my work desk: willing the chance to meet one of my JPop crushes!

Or this:

This is a permanent fixture on my Vision Board. Guess why... 🙂