Tag Archives: fat

Annual Physical Examinations

Working for a health company means that the people I work for value health on top of other things. After all, the subject of health is where we earn our keep. Birthdays in our company is not only cause for celebrations — celebrating birthdays meant you will be given a cup to take home to get your icky samples and you will be scheduled for your Annual Physical Examinations.

It’s a chore, but a must-do and you can’t wiggle out of an APE because HR will monitor you like crazy. When I was younger, I used to dread taking the annual physical — after all, you will be required to submit your urine and poop sample, you will get poked and prodded; your itty bits handled and mashed to check for signs of lumps and potential health problems. The thought of undressing in front of a stranger used to scare the hell out of me. I guess it is different when you get older and you want to make sure that the parts are still in tip-top condition. After all, getting sick is very expensive in the Philippines. Unless you have health insurance — incidentally, only 10% of the total PH population has one — a consultation, or worse, hospitalization is enough to put a drain in you or your family’s finances. Sad to say, in this country, there are even people who pass away without even seeing a doctor during their lifetime.

photo not mine
photo not mine

Turning another year older also meant that I am now subjected to the “Full Menu” — so aside from CBC Blood Test, Urinalysis, Chest X-Ray and Medical History Taking, I was also subjected to ECG and best of all, OB Gyne exam. It’s a bit disconcerting but something that has to be done if I want to live past the age of 50.

The results, sad to say, is heart breaking.

In spite the fact that I hardly ate, that I have the appetite of a bird, I am sad to announce that it seems to be that I have lost my battle against my continued weight gain. I have already seen the signs but until I saw the figure (which is above 160lbs – my former weight), I have never been so disappointed and depressed.


I am now severely overweight. From my weight of 100lbs during university, my weight have tipped the scales so badly that I am now told that it is affecting my capability to breed. Apparently, the excess fat might be wrecking a havoc on my reproductive system. I am trying to make light of the situation because to mope about it is just useless and will just make me more depressed than what I normally am. I did not know how I get myself to fail this miserably. I am fat, childless and currently, miserably penniless. To mope about it will do nothing to get me out of this pit I have put myself into.

After I saw my new weight, I was immediately ashamed especially since the people who measured me were my officemates. Unlike other patients who were names and numbers on the appointment sheet, I was a person who worked with them and interacted at them. They knew of my struggle on infertility and the fact that I am now at my heaviest has validated my incapability to breed. Mostly, because I was fat.

weight gain

I chose to relay my descent into FatVille not because I want you to pity me but because I need to see, in words, in black and white, how low I have come. I guess I needed the wake up jolt to see that I will never become a mother unless I do something about my body.

At the end of the day, no one is responsible with my health but myself. I was the one who didn’t took care of my body and now I am suffering from it. I am just glad that I was able to be see it before it was too late. I still have time, I hope.


Confessions of a serial dieter


It has come to my attention that all perceived weight and flabs that I have managed to lose due to exercising like a mad woman during the last quarter of 2013 has been slowly creeping up my flab-riddled body.

The warning signs were there: clothes that felt a bit too tight around the middle, difficulty in running as part of the office’s running club and the slowly expanding gut. Sometimes, I say no to invitations for drinks and get-together because I don’t want to see old acquaintances and hear them say the usual line, “what happened to you? you gained weight! you used to be so thin in college!” Yes, I can deflect it with my usual tough girl lines but it kinda eats me away inside–especially when I am already at home, looking at a pile of clothes that no longer fit me.

While I do my four minute work outs during weekend, I have also begun to collect flimsy routine just to get out of my exercise routine. This–and the lack of discipline–are some of the reasons why I managed to gain back the pounds I managed to shake off.

Now, I am in panic mode.

Like the serial crammer and dieter that I am–and faced with the thought of looking pudgier than I was before–I started looking at my options.

1. Replace coffee with green tea and stick with it – after reading somewhere that tea is a good anti-oxidant and that it helps you lose weight, I started impulsively buying various green tea variants in the market and leaving it anywhere: in my room, the office and a sachet in my bag. My reasoning is that I will replace my coffee intake with green tea. I managed to do this for about a week and then stress hits me and I am chugging coffee again like a fiend.

2. Salads, hard boiled eggs and eating healthy – When I was still doing the fitness boot camp, I was eating salads, vegetables and fruits, drinking milk everyday and staying away from sweets (aka “my weakness”). But after the boot camp and the stress of work reappeared, I was downing cup cakes and fudgee bars every chance I get. I blame this for the bloated feeling.

To address this, I started eating healthy again — but man, trying to lose weight is very expensive. I was spending almost a hundred bucks per meal for my salads! Fruits and veggies also don’t come cheap. But it really needed to tone down. So, I am temporarily breaking my frugal ways in order to sustain my “healthy lifestyle”. If you have suggestions on how I can eat healthy and on the cheap – let me know!

3. Get my chair off the butt and start running again – I wasn’t able to run as much as I like due to my very hectic work sched. However, deep inside, I know that I am using work as a reason to procrastinate on my running and exercise. I have to stop this. I already left my running gear at work, reasoning that it will allow me to run if I want to.

4. Explore gym membership – I noticed that there’s a small community gym a block from my house. If I don’t have the discipline to do the work outs on my own, maybe it’s time to hit the gym and hire a trainer to bully me into submission.

God knows how much I wanted to lose weight. I don’t want to acknowledge it but gaining weight is already affecting my self-esteem.


Love means not having to go on a diet (Day 46/Project 365)

How can I lose weight if the man I married kept on giving me stuff like this:

The hubby and I don’t celebrate Valentines. It’s one of the things that we have discovered early into dating and we both agreed that it’s a date that we won’t really mind NOT doing. We hated the crowds, the fact that people are already waiting for you even when you’re still shoveling spaghetti into your mouth and lastly, that flowers cost five times its normal price.

We have been doing this for the last twelve years of being together and I can foresee an eternity of not being bitten by the love bug.

In spite the Valentines Ban, the hubby gave me a tin can of Cadbury’s Biscuit Chocolate selection. This is something that he has been doing ever since, especially since his mom sends us copious amounts of chocolates from the UK.

Instead of wolfing it all in one sitting, I decided to just take a bite of a piece then save some as my breakie for work the next morning. As much as I love all the chocolate he gives me, the massive flabs that come with it has made me avoid it like the plague, unless it’s Nestle Symphony–then all bets are off.

Idle Monday leads to beauty discoveries

Bored and refusing this watch TV this idle Monday night, I began to notice the stuff that I brought home these past few weeks. I had some beauty products from SeriAsia, given by my good friends from PMP during their recently concluded Vanity Fair event held a few weeks back.

I was planning to use them one of these days, but with the schedule I have at the office, the wedding coordinating thing that I have begun PLUS other stuff, the plan to use them and write my findings on the product has taken a backseat. Well, tonight is the perfect night to begin experimenting with all the products I have stashed here at home, especially since The Hubby is on night shift duty today (in exact, no one will be around to make the wise-ass remarks). Inside the nifty paper bag were two products, a sampler of the 6-in-1 Body Treatment Lotion and a 120g bottle of the Ganodema Body Moisturizer.

this is what's inside the small brown paper bag - the 6-in-1 lotion

I decided to try first the 6-in-1 Body Lotion, the little print out says that “it’s clinically-proven to reduce 6 inches in 1 month of use. helps achieve ideal body shape, reduces cellulite and fat, reduces muscle stiffness and fatigue, and restores skin’s elasticity…”

Well, I am a COPYWRITER and PR practitioner by profession, so I can easily say that to write a copy like that is easy–give and take about an hour.

But the truth lies on what happens next when you use it. After applying the product on the desired area (“slowly, on a circular motion” says the print ad), I began to feel a warm sensation on the surface of my skin where the product was applied. I can also feel the part of my skin (in exact: the dreaded tummy area) sweat a little. A good fifteen minutes after applying the product, I can still feel that warm yet comfortable feeling — what’s the best way to describe it? Imagine having a massage — that warm, comfortable feeling you get while the massage therapist or the masseuse is kneading on your skin, driving away the stress and strain? That’s exactly how it felt now. Like as if a massage therapist is slowly kneading away on my tummy — trying to massage away years of accumulated fat and strain.

The print out did not specify how long it would take to see results–IN EXACT, if the size of my muffin top would be significantly reduced–but I am guessing that this product needs a full month to take effect.

My plan is to finish the sampler given to me then purchase my own bottle of the 6-in-1 Body Lotion and let you know if my tummy fat has been lessened (no more muffin top!). I think this product retails at Watsons Stores (saw one at SM Makati) for PHP800.

I am not really into those wonder products that can significantly alter your body shape or your face. The most that I can go with beauty products is the requisite morning cream routine for SPF/sun protection and pore minimizer (I bought this at Avon! will let you know one of these days if it’s effective). But if SeriAsia’s 6-in-1 Body Lotion can help me achieve my dream body (without the embarrassing tummy spillage) I don’t see anything wrong with it. I guess as long as the product you use for your body does not harm you, others or the environment, I think it’s every women’s right to look and feel at their most beautiful.

For more information on Seri Asia, you may go to their site: www.seriasia.com

* This product was an event give-away. This is not a sponsored post.

Yes, she’s fat. So what?

from the Guardian UK

Her name is Gabourey Sidibe.
Recently nominated for an Oscar for Best Actress in a Lead Role, for the highly-acclaimed movie “Precious: based on the novekl Push by Sapphire”.
She is also overweight.

So freaking what?

For a few days now after her enchanted evening at the Oscars where she displayed both confidence and poise, Gabby Sidibe was on the news for being labeled “the most enormous, fat black chick” and a “woman the size of the planet”

The fact that she displayed talent on her first role in Hollywood is inconsequential. To some, she is just fat. Period.

I doubt if Hollywood still needs to ram it up Gabby’s throat her weight issues. Obviously she knows that. And hell, aside from watching her movie (and wishing her well for her career in Hollywood) what happens in her life, her weight and her physical well being is her business alone. There is no need to say what we think. WHAT DOES GABBY THINK? What does she feel? It is fortunate that this young woman has a good head on top of her shoulders and that she has the confidence to pull her through this issue.

If one day, she decides to lose weight, then it is her call. If one day, she felt the need to be healthy–NOT stick-thin–but healthy…it is her life and her decisions. No one should tell her that she will not “make it out there” because she is fat. It is an insult to her talent.

The reality that some people STILL refuses to see other people AS WHO THEY REALLY ARE, and BEYOND their size, weight or color is simply too sad.

What to answer when someone tells you, “Ang taba mo ngayon?!?”

I got pissed-off with my dad last Saturday when (seeing me eating a small bar of chocolate) he said, “Kumakain ka pa ng chocolate eh ang taba mo na!” (Why are you still eating chocolate when you’re getting fat?)

In fact, I’ve gotten very sensitive about my weight. I am currently twenty pounds overweight, curvy and with love handles on places where I used to bare each summer at the beach. One mention of the word, “mataba ka na” (you’re fat) and I will really be annoyed. Due to this, I have come to avoid people in college just because I’ve grown tired of answering their “fat” questions. I also do not find it amusing when people say that “napabayaan ako sa kusina” (left alone in the kitchen) and has seriously contemplated cutting my relationship from a friend who–after years of not talking or seeing each other–said those exact words to me: “ang taba mo! mukha kang napabayaan sa kusina!”

I don’t know what is it with Pinoys and their big, stupid mouths. Is it a crime to have additional baggage around your waist? After all, it was your tub of lard and not theirs, in the first place! People do change. The scrawny little kid you used to bully in college might grow old to be curvy, a bit overweight?

Sometimes, it’s surprising that people don’t get that yes, we fat people have feelings. And maybe, if you will shut up and stop making crude jokes about how we look…maybe, you’ll make us feel better and appreciated. We are not side show freaks. We have feelings and they get hurt when you use words like “pig, hippo or elephant” to address or describe us.

Believe it or not. It’s not funny at all.

In four weeks, I’ll be the matron of honor during my best friend’s wedding. One wise-ass friend from college joked that the cloth distributed for the gowns might not be enough for my weight and body size. The fact that he is an overweight, balding geezer did not occur to him.

In his blog, “This is a crazy planets” at Spot PH, Lourd de Veyra provides the top 20 replies to the comment, “Uy, tumataba ka”.

Here they are:

1. “Bagong promo ng Belo Clinic.”
2. “Hindi, baby fat lang ‘yan.”
3. “Nagsarado kasi yung Fitness First sa amin.”
4. “A sure consequence of increasing personal wealth kasi yan. Ikaw mukha ka pa ring dukha.”
5. “That’s because I’m joining The Biggest Loser.”
6. Rep has auditions for Falstaff.
7. “Maganda nga abs mo, pero bobo ka pa rin.”
8. “I know you meant no malice, but you have no idea how much you hurt my feelings.”
9. “Fifty percent off on Thai Jasmine rice at Hi-Top Supermarket!”
10. ‘Ever heard of the East Beach Diet?”
11. Alam mo, sabi dati ni Roland Barthes, “Steak is part of the same sanguine mythology as wine. It is the heart of meat, it is meat in its pure state; and whoever partakes of it assimilates a bull-like strength. The prestige of steak evidently derives from quasi-rawness. In it, blood is visible, natural, dense, at once compact and sectile… To eat steak therefore represents both a nature and morality.”
12. “I mean, that’s just your opinion, man.”—Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski
13. “Bakit ikaw mukha kang floorwax?”
14. “Nagbasa ako ng Preview. Yan daw ang uso in the next six months.”
15. “Which is why I’ve been taking Xenical. And I’ve got this nice, moist feeling inside my pants.”
16. “Idol ko si Ate Shawee.”
17. “Ah, but the curve is the most beautiful of all the lines.”
18. “May sale kasi sa Tubby.”
19. “Does the phrase ‘Dove Beauty’ mean anything to you?”
20. “Tangina mo rin.”

My favorites are numbers 4, 8 and of course, number 20.
Use liberally.

Fat Chronicles: When despair sets in

I maybe the least person with self-esteem issues. I don’t have problems having huge, round eyes (Bette Davis’ eyes, they say), a short nose or even thick wavy hair. I don’t have problems with my height nor how small my shoes is. I am happy with myself, that is until I started getting fat and people started greeting me with this: “Ang taba mo ngayon! (you’ve gone fat!)”

Me -- on my best weight ever, 116 lbs. all that curves minus the extra baggage!

I mean, what happened to good old “Kumusta?” What happened to basic manners?

I am 5 feet tall. When I was still in college and weighing a mere 90 lbs…that was okay. That was cute. But when I started working, growing up, stressing out, got engaged and eventually married, I gained so much weight that I now have problems looking for jeans my size. On my worst days, I look pudgy, fat and ugly that sometimes, I have to force myself to get out of the house and face the world.

From a measly 90 lbs, I now weight 140 lbs.–making me 20 lbs. overweight. Truth is, I don’t mind it on most times–as I now have the curves that I used to covet. But, deep inside I know that this is too much curve, too much fat and always wondered when it will go away. Then I’d ask myself if I am eating too much, have I become to much of a glutton not to notice my expanding girth.

At SG -- a bit heavier than before

What saddens me the most is the response I get from people, including my family regarding the change in my weight. It’s like I got a dreadful sexually transmitted disease each time they regard my “condition”. “Ang taba mo”, “anong nangyari sa’yo?” “Tumaba ka” With the way they say it, it’s like being fat is a big crime known to man. Friends would talk about how thin I was in college (and to think they call me “patpat (stick)” then due to my skin and bones. And now, I was the college classmate who got fat. This insensitive behavior among people, including my family and friends have made me allergic to any type of reunions as I do not have the tolerance to explain to people the change in my weight and in my girth. I also no longer have the tolerance for remarks that are meant to sound funny, but would often times comes as hurtful. Example: “kaya kayo hindi nagkaka-anak kasi ang tataba nyo!” (The reason why you don’t have kids yet is because you’re too fat
Someone actually said this to my face, and I wanted to tell him one thing: F*ck you and F*ck off!

I remember when I was stuck at home one time. I was wearing shorts and accidentally, my eyes wandered to these thick legs and the depressing dimples made by cellulite. I almost got sick just looking at my extra flabs, the love handles, the protruding belly and even the extra chin that shows whenever I look down. I remembered all the clothes I had to throw out cos they no longer fit. I remembered giving away one of my favorite dresses cos they make me look like a woman on its trimester. I remembered the fight I had with my dad cos he asked me to stop eating “kasi ang taba mo na”

I mourn all the clothes that I don’t get to wear. The pants and the short cutesy skirt saw from my Japanese fashion magazines. I wanted to try this and adapt it as my work wear only to realize that was possible if I was still a good size 0-2…Not now when my weight requires me to wear sizes 6-7, each piece reminding me that it’s okay to be fashionable but you have to look cool–not FUNNY or trying hard. Buying jeans is a nightmore nowadays–when size 33 would fit my rear but not my waist (my rear is bigger than my waist, thank God). It’s only now that I realize that it’s quote hard to be FASHIONABLE and FAT at the same time!

with my baby sis and bro--being fasyon while keeping the flabs at bay!
Presenting: Disney's Small World and Lani's Big tummy (haha)
2009 - all covered up, not because I was fat but because it was cold in HK!

I do not want to remain this way. I had plans of losing all the extra poundage, along with the insecurities it gives me every single day of my life.. I vow to exercise, not to eat meat and lessen my carb intake.

More importantly, I vow to regain my remaining self-esteem and self-respect. Something that is NOT co-terminus with my weight or the amount of flab in my body.