This Monday’s not so bad!!! (Let’s hope this goes on…)

My close friends, and the unfortunate few who shared breathing space with me–obviously knows about the drama that currently plays on Lani TV like an unfortunate episode of Ugly Betty on crack. Suffice to say, and without going much into details, let me just say that my career closely resembles the biggest roller coaster in Six Flags Magic Mountain…so may twists and turns, you kinda have to puke out once you get out the ride.

For two (?) months now, going to work (ESPECIALLY ON MONDAYS) is like going to the dentist. You know, the one who scrimps on novocaine and anesthesia and SUDDENLY PULLS YOUR TEETH JUST LIKE THAT!

Anyway, due to this long-running (and long overdue) program in my life, Ive come to have this hatred for Monday. Well, this Monday is different.

I went to work determined to look at the picture on a positive perspective. To make sure that I will last the day, I loaded on praise music, courtesy of sis. I kept saying to myself that with the help of Sonic Flood, The Katinas and Kutless–I will be able to disregard any negativity that will wrap itself around me like a hell-born leech.

And you know what?

I survived Monday. I LOVE this MONDAY (i hope this will go on with my succeeding Mondays)

On my way home, I was talking to NEIGHBOR, and we were discussing about career choices and just when do you realise that a job is not for you.  I remember saying that like all yuppies, I probably harbored dreams of having the corner office–but then again, late at night I keep yearning to the time when I use my brain to write creative pieces, and not worry about the effect of the company on x and y and z.

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Going banAnas with ANNA!

Hi Dear God,

If I get to die and be given a chance to live again as another person…..
Can I be ANNA TSUCHIYA???
pretty please po?

Consider Anna:

"Lucy’ – From Nana the Movie (BlackStones)

"I’m Addicted to You" (from Kuroi Namida single)

"Cocoon"

What I like about Anna is that she’s unique compared to the typical female Japanese singer.
As much as I love anything JPop (and Japanese for that reason) but let’s admit that most female singers have this annoying pa-cute voice. And more often than not–they have this pre-packaged image that you don’t get their personality anymore.

I first saw Anna Tsuchiya on a CNN interview and I was impressed. Where did this girl come from? Turns out–she’s everywhere in Japan! And did I mention that she’s one of the leads in Kamikaze Girls (with Kyoko Fukada)?

Before I reduce myself to a slobbering, raving lunatic–I’ll shut up.
Losing coolness factor is not exactly cool if I am ANNA TSUCHIYA!

Quo Vadis Mrs. Suzon?

I’ve been thinking a lot these past few weeks and more often than not…I’ve come to asses that I really need to change a lot of things with the way I live.

Married life is not its portrayed to be. Nine out of then, the ride is bumpy, hellish and depressing. As much as I love the person I married, there are days when I just want to scream at him. They say, I was lucky having someone who’d understand the shit I usually go through. But then, I say…he’s damn lucky too.

Nine months of me having a new surname yet I keep thinking of the old one–figures it’s because I’ve had that for 29 years. It is only now I realise marriage is not for the faint hearted

if you don’t have guts and patience and heart in you, I say don’t get married. Remain as partners. Cos as soon as you plan your wedding–there’s no backing out. You gotta stick to it. Dammit.

well, for those expecting it to happen…AM SORRY, BUT WE AINT THROWING THE TOWEL JUST YET
the ride is hellish, yes…but i’d rather share the ride with him than go through life alone.

This is know cos we’re fighting, in spite whatever misery we might encounter. That’s why everyday, I wake up, go to work, shut up the whole day, go home…rely on the kindness of my friends…then repeat the process all over again. This is why he wakes up, go to school– bear learning how to clean toilets and bedsheets and prepare place settings for a living.

So, if you’re not the type who looks forward to picking up the laundry after the man who you claimed you love; or to hearing her nag every God damn day of the life. Just don’t take the plunge. Step away from your day dreams of white gown and pink roses–cos it’s EVER AFTER you gotta deal with

So, here I am taking it one day at a time–learning to deal…That’s why I want to move forward with my life–with work, with my career, with everything that has to do with me.

I’m just so tired settling for "puwede na" or "ok lang".

I have three months to go, and I’m saying to this confusing, horrible year. Am gonna fix my life.

I gotta have an answer,a  definite answer, when I am asked where I am going…

freestylin’ – poem 001

rummaging for my stuff and looking at my notebook collection (yes folks, i collect notebooks. i am a sucker for notebooks and i get high just by smelling writing paper–more on that on my succeeding post)….i found one of my so-called diaries where some of my poems were written.

i’ve read through them…and i almost fell out of my chair laughing. then it dawned upon me that i should probably burn this before it becomes ‘evidence 001" on how much a melodramatic schmuck i am.

but…knowing me…i couldn’t even bring myself to harm an old circa 1999 diary…so the notebook was safe, for the meantime.

then it dawned upon me to repost all my poems here at my blog. why? so i can inflict further shame upon myself? check. or so you can also die laughing and cringing at the same time? check.

…or because, simply i feel like it

i’ve always written poems and i love writing poems. i prefer writing in freestyle, without the iambic pentameter or rhythm…i say it as it is. LIKE SPOKEN WORD!

EMPTY.

words can cut as deep
as the sharpest knife.
empty, hollow, meaningless words.
just words, yet your eyes
     betray your lies

pure semantics
an arrangement of vowels, consonants, sounds
never knew something so innocent
     can hurt as much.

deep inside i bleed.
your words like swords piercing my flesh

little by little, i die.
i bleed, i die inside.

empty, hollow
meaningless words

06August2006

Praying for a miracle

The talking tube says a super typhoon is on its way to good ol’ RP….
Just when people are just beginning to pick-up the pieces from last Saturday’s Ketsana.

god i hope, people can still survive through this…

They say miracles happen when you least expect them. I hope this is one of those times.
A lot of people are still struggling–still no house to come home to; no food, money or even shelter.
A lot of people are lucky to be alive and with their family…

I’ve always believed in miracles and somehow, that a higher power sees you through–no matter what.

There’s strength in numbers…


It’s all over the news–so I won’t repeat it.
But whatever devastation Typhoon Ondoy (KETSANA) dealt to Filipinos–HE WASN’T ABLE TO KILL OUR SPIRIT.
While this calamity is one of the worsts that hit Manila and the Philippines, the calamity also gave us the chance to unite as a country. To help people in  need. To look (even for once) beyond ourselves.

Last Saturday gave birth to thousands of heroes–heroes that went beyond the glare of the press or camera. People who died saving others, people who risked their lives saving others. They are not well-known personalities–they are not politicians…they were made of some sterner stuff…they are heroes.

Imagine multiplying two or three heroes into five, six, twenty…a hundred,. Imagine what that would do to our country. There’s strength in numbers…together, we can get pass this.

If you’re someone who spent a day at the volunteer site, or helped your neighbor or your family or donated goods or cash — thank you!

Our country needs more people like you!

This is all over the internet…so you’ve probably seen this: I am not into local showbiz…but when 2 celebrities helped out and DIDN’T BLABBED ABOUT IT, we should recognize the deed!

What doesn’t kill me…Makes me stronger (Part 2) It’s all about Faith, baby!

This is the part 2 of my first post light years ago–I forgot to update this blog, so I’m updating it now.
I’ve always been known to be the "least spiritual" of my friends…but I am someone with unshakable faith on the Higher Being.

Now that a part of my life resembles (in a nutshell) a roadkill, I’d still like to think that I am made of sterner stuff.
Even if deep inside…I am screaming, crying and crumbling–no way will I show that I am going through hell.

I am just taking this opportunity to give a BIG shout-out to the MAN UPSTAIRS! For keeping me sane and strong to whatever hell I am going through.

So, GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT! IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!?

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