Category Archives: funny

Mad Love

In honor of St. Valentine’s Day–where people dress in red and try to compete for candle-lit tables located in over-booked restaurants, serving over priced steak–I bring you this adorable albeit, obviously crazy way these hapless Japanese salarymen show their love to their wives.

Shout it out! Love drives people crazy!
Shout it out! Love drives people crazy!

By shouting their messages of love stark raving mad in front of a very amused crowd:

In a society like Japan who puts much emphasis on “what’s proper” and ultimate propriety, these brave souls obviously made their wives flutter like never before. They are part of Japan’s “Devoted Husband’s Organization” where members show their appreciation to the missus every “Love your Wife Day” which falls every 31st of January.

Aishteru Yo!
Aishteru Yo!

Here are some of their messages:

“I can fly higher because you’re with me. Please stand by me forever.”
“I’m sorry that I’ve gained weight over the last seven years,But that’s because the meals you cook are so delicious.”
“I’ll hug you very tight tonight, Thank you for your love.”

Awwww. As a married woman myself, I know there are days when husbands seem to evolve from the Prince Charmings we all married (and fell in love with) to pompous jack-asses that you want to gift wrap and send back to their over-protected moms.

But, there are also definite days when you are glad you are married to the bugger. It maybe simple things like him fixing you breakfast or cooking you Omurice for your office bento, or taking care of you when you are sick and/or feeling shitty.

I wish there are more events like “Appreciate your Wife Day” or maybe, “Appreciate your Husband Day” because quite frankly, more than the syrupy gimmicks of Valentine’s Day — it’s when you feel that you are truly appreciated and cared for that you feel most loved.

SOURCE here

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Did you accidentally popped your cherry?

NOTE: The succeeding post may not be suitable to minor or prudes. Please do not continue reading if you blush upon hearing the word, “vajayjay”

…and wants to have the V back?
Cos damn, I got the solution if you suddenly lost your virginity…maybe in the back of a car, on your dorm’s shared couch or God-forbid, in a sleazy motel room where you had to hide your face each time you enter and exit the premises.

(Why the need to hide your face? Because I actually knew someone who went to have a “three-hour sexy time” in the old Wise Motel in Sta. Mesa in front of PUP and STUPIDLY WALKED OUT of the PREMISES the exact moment her dad’s jeep was stuck in traffic on the same spot as the motel exit. To say that the girl got busted is an understatement. This is a true story, I kid you not)

Anyway, the reason why I was asking if you are interested to restore that thing is because of this product I saw at Watsons, SM Makati:

we restore busted "Vs"!

I was minding my own business, rifling through the numerous beauty products when I came across this product. The soap claims to rid “the woman’s sensitive area of smell and any bacteria, plus it also tightens vaginal muscles”.

for only PHP109, you'll be good as new

…W T F?

I can just imagine a panic-stricken 16 year old reaching for the soap in hopes of getting rid of the regretful night she had with the boy next door.

With all due respect to the manufacturer, but is there a market for this product? Who wants to tighten their v muscles anyway? And how do they do that?

Imagine the possibilities of producing an ad copy for this soap. It’ll be priceless. “We restore broken hymens…”

Vinegar, with a punch

Spotted on my mom’s small convenience store:

Holy mackerel, Batman! It's Manny P!

Yep, you guessed it right. That’s the world’s best pound-for-pound king hamming it up on the plastic packaging of a local Vinegar brand. When I said “hamming it up” — you have to look at his absurdly annoying face as presented on a cheap packaging of plain local vinegar.

Manny P worshippers, hold on to your panties since I am not bashing your idol. My point is just: if you’re the King of Pound-for-Pound boxing, an elected government official, and literary considered one of the Philippines’ national treasures–I think it is the job of Manny’s (amply) paid PR people to screen his endorsements. Whether he like it or not, he should be presented in a classy manner and a classier campaign, and not just through advertising by stamping his face in a vinegar packaging.

(Now I wonder how the Filipino consumers’ psyche works: Are they like, “noo-ni-noo-ni-nooo…must buy suka (vinegar) for my adobo…what should i use? what should i use? i need something really good…” Then sees the Pacquiao mug on the vinegar, “Oh Manny Pacquiao! I’d be buying this na lang….it’s Manny P eh!”)

PLUS,I seriously effing hate how his face seemed so be trying so hard to be cute. Oh, did I mention above that he is an elected government official too? I did? One look at his picture here, you’ll have a hard time believing it too.

Stark, Raving Sheeny-mad!!!

Charlie Sheen has presented us with many quotable quotes these past few days, and currently holds the distinction and the “Guinness World Record” for the fastest time to reach a million followers on Twitter (it only took him a day)

But the real reason why people is soooo into Charlie Sheen these days is because of the amusing albeit embarrassing things he say. So, the brilliant people at Vanity Fair came up with Stark Raving Mad Libs, so that we can also generate rants of the Charlie Sheen calibre. Here’s mine:

I kept thinking that I could have used this during my hellish week last time, but then again — I thrive on drama, this will be useful ANYTIME.

So, what’s your Sheen Mad Lib?

Source

I am friends with weird people…and I couldn’t be more happier!

I had a great Christmas get-together breakfast with two of the people whose opinion I value so much.

These two are good friends from way, way back and I was lucky enough to be part of their little circle. I loved their bitchy, witchy hirits and there are no words to explain how I love being with these two.

Anyway, the topics of our little Christmas brekkie made me realize that even though I’ve been friends with G for almost five years and with F, a good one or two years–there are still stuff about them that I know no shit about. And isn’t this the point of cultivating friendships? To discover quirky, funny, wonderful things that adds up to the total package of a person.

And with all the crazy things happening in my life right now, meeting these girls for lunch meant so much to me, and even meant a lot more than the beautiful things they gave me for Christmas (thanks G and F — I love your gifts!!!) I think I never laughed so much than earlier. Who knew I am friends with nutty, crazy girls?

Crazy girls in the hooooouse!!! G and F ๐Ÿ™‚

I. G — Jollibee’s Stalker for Real!

You have to know something about G — she is proudly OC, very motherly to her “kids” (including me), possesses quiet sophistication and breeding, she is also one of the few people whom I have utmost respect. In my eyes, she is the wife, career woman and mother than I aspire to be.

That is–even after I knew that she has this mad “thing” towards Jollibee. For those not raised in the Philippines, Jollibee is this giant bee mascot for Jollibee, the number one fast food chain in the Philippines that is beating McDonald’s to a bloody pulp.

Anyway, it is only now–after five years of friendship–that I’ve learned that serious yet lovable G has this thing of harassing Jollibee mascots cos she finds them really, really cute. I mean, I almost had pasta shoot out of my nose after she mentioned how she torments these mascots to shame each time she is in close proximity to any unfortunate Bee.

JolliBEES -- this must be G's idea of heaven

Somehow I just can’t imagine pretty, proper G trying to score a grope on a giant bee. The image just tears me to pieces! I don’t know about you–but am not a big fan of mascots. Aside from scaring the sh*t out of me, I have a big compulsion to beat the crap out of any mascot when I see one. That’s why when I see a mascot, I stay away.

Here’s a video of that giant bee doing a dance showdown with a giant chicken:

I can only imagine G’s glee on this video. Now I know why all the kiddie parties at her home is held at Jollibee. Mixing business with pleasure, aint it, G?

II. F and the Case of the Missing Subtitle

me and G
The Bitchy Girls Club

F was one of the few people who I managed to bring over to the dark side with my Asian obsessions. Right now, the apple of F’s eyes are the talented boys of Super Junior, as well as Jang Geun Suk, the prince of the Hallyu wave. F’s current drug of choice is watching TVN, a Korean entertainment channel seen on cable. Blessed with good subtitles, this is where the little Korean entertainment junkie gets her news on all things KPop.

One day, F comes home from work and switched on the telly for her taste of KPop madness. And promptly realized that there was no subtitle for her to work on! Imagine her surprise and her panic when she realized that her drug of choice is missing its English subtitles! After contemplating calling the Customer Service Manager from the cable company to sort out the mess, F decided to let it be–and just let it go. Though I can imagine that her heart must have been breaking to let go of her favorite channel. Until one day, F opened her TV and set it to TVN, convinced that the English subtitles won’t come back. Finally, she looks into the screen and realized that she can read it! The English subtitles are back!

I told her, for all you know–the guy in charge of the subtitles must have taken his annual leave and went for a short visit to his motherland!

I wish I could told the story the same way I heard it this morning, cos it was just so freaking funny I was laughing my brains out at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.

My friends, ladies and gentlemen — they take the cake for being one of the craziest people in the planet and yet—I would love them just the same.

To have…and to hold, and to forever remember

My absence these past two days is due to the staging of the wedding I was working on as the on-the-day coordinator/ wedding planner. The wedding opened my eyes on a lot of things — the beauty of finding the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with, the power of vows exchanged straight from the heart and of course, the magical effect of weddings–its capability to tug at heart strings.

Had a very long day yesterday–mine started at 6AM. Me and the ever supportive Hubby traveled from Makati to Imus, Cavite to be picked by the service vehicle. My day started really early. For the prep alone, until the writing of the cue cards, picking seat assignments, flower arrangements and trying to assuage the bride that yes, she has a marriage contract. Then, to running the whole wedding–from the entourage march to the final kiss. Then worrying about the reception right after.

the altar at Sonya's Garden

And then of course, you have to deal with anxious parents, a nervous bride and the collective concern of other suppliers.

For some people, they call this a nightmare.

But for me — this is part and parcel of the whole wedding theme. Stressful, yes. Worth bitching over? No.

That’s the magic of weddings: seeing true, honest-to-goodness love unfold right before your eyes. Seeing a continuation of a fairy tale and the possibility of a happy ending.

Me, I was so thankful to be part of their very important day. I love each and every minute of it.

To have little things and simple memories to remember by
And so, the wedding was held at Sonya’s Garden in Tagaytay City. Sonya’s was simply magic starting from the rustic, shaby chic feel of the place to the cold Tagaytay weather…everything was just simply awesome.

But more than the venue, what I loved more is the food — particularly the salad.

salad
freshly-baked bread
not-so-stellar pasta

The Hubby and I decided to have our lunch at the Garden. For PHP600, you get endless servings of salad, a pasta and the best taragon tea made possible to mankind. The salad
was simply awesome, and I loved the taste of the crunchiest melons I’ve tasted. Much of the hype comes from the cold weather and the classy looking hotel along the national highway.

happy together
very happy mike ๐Ÿ™‚

In spite the chao, the wedding was simply too stunning for words.

CONTINUATION: I am sorry if this seemed abruptly cut-off, I was already dozing off as I type this at 2 in the morning so I had to stop myself before I start writing something distinctly stupid or worse, doesn’t make sense.

As much as I love Sonya’s — I think the food is slightly overrated.

Yes, organic is the cool by-word nowadays, and eating stuff grown in the restaurant’s garden is very charming, quaint and appealing. The salad is to die for — the greens, they were crunchy and tasty while the mix of melons, mango, cucumber, roasted nuts, corn, mashed egg complimented by a tasty home-made salad dressing was simply too divine for words.

I think the Hubby and I spent 45 minutes just feasting on the salad (it was eat all you can) before signaling for the pasta…

Unfortunately, the pasta played less stellar role to the garden salad. I did not even finished the pasta and decided to signal for the desserts. The combination of chocolate cake, sweetened camote and turon was divine, especially when complimented by the taragon tea.

I think, Sonya’s was a good “get-away” especially for couples who would love to discover and try new things. The Hubby and I bonded really well during that time and for me, nothing can be more priceless than seeing the man I married smiling to himself while enjoying his food. He simply looked so happy. And I think that’s what marriage is for — appreciating little things and little blessings with the person you love the most right beside you, sharing in on the experience.