Lights, misery and fitness

One of the things that’s keeping me sane and healthy is my recent return to health and fitness. A recurring theme in this blog is my never ending woes about my health and weight issues, which usually led to a lot of respiratory and reproductive problems.

Following my office’s transfer to the Central Business District (CBD), I started a running schedule with my friends from my department. We all started gained weight after working for the kaisha and were all bemoaning our lack of exercise. Our current location is just right across the Ayala Triangle Park, which is actually a haven for fitness buffs. Every early evening, you would often see a pack of runners circling the park, or engrossed in their own work outs. We decided that the new location is the perfect antidote to our bulging bellies and ever-expanding waistlines.

Actually, I had a head start. My recent bout with depression has left me a few pounds lighter since I lost my appetite and basically, my will to live. Determined to finally let go of the past me and work on being a new person, I decided that I have to past the pit where I was stuck for the last 2 months and just work, no…fight in getting myself better.

So, I decided to invest in an pedometer which will help me track the calories I lost as well as the steps I took per day. Being tied down to a desk job contributed a lot to my weight gain and after consulting with a specialist, I know that I needed to be more active and has resolved to walking as much as I can.

According to health experts, we should at least reach 10,000 steps a day in order to be healthy and burn a significant number of calories. I started wearing the pedometer religiously and has become obsessed in keeping my running and work out schedule.

In my mind, not because my life is a mess right now doesn’t mean that I have to look like one, too.

I resolved to get better — and I know that step one to this journey is feeling better and looking a lot better physically.

So, I started to run, watched what I ate and even shy away from rice and any type of soda. I miss my ice, cold Sprite but my newly-found addiction to green tea was able to temper the loss. I drink water like a fish and my morning isn’t complete without a tall glass of ice cold non-fat milk.

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Running became my “Me Time” — an opportunity to decompress, relax and think about nothing but the road ahead and the kilometers I’ve reached (according to my trusty Nike Run app). While my running records are pathetic (averaging 3 kilometers for 1 hour run), running religiously began to show its effects on my body. My knees and thighs always hurt but I can also see changes in their size. Pants began to sag, my shirts began to feel bigger when I wear them, people now notice that I am starting to lose the flabs and the extra baggage around my middle. To date, I have lost about 10 kilos of my original weight — but still has a long way to go to be considered healthy and with correct BMI (30 kilos more, to be exact).

However, running around Ayala Triangle–especially during Christmas–has its downside, especially for a depressed person like me:

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This. The Christmas Lights and Sounds Show which has began to attract a lot of people due to the colorful and amazing light show synced to Christmas carols.

I was in the middle of my run, when the lights first came on — much to the oooh-ing and aaah-ing of the audience. It was so beautiful that I stopped running and just looked at all the lights and basked on the Christmas atmosphere, the chilly, November air and the carols playing on the PA system. That’s also when I noticed the couples kissing under the lights, the children shrieking in happiness, the families gathering under the trees, the group of friends posing for a “groufie” or recording the light show on their smart phones.

In short, that’s also when I noticed how alone I was.

In the midst of the happiness, of happy, dancing lights and uplifting Christmas carols — the feeling of sadness, of hopelessness and just being alone was starting to rear it’s ugly head again.

So, I opened the Nike Run app and pushed the “Resume Run” button, hooked my earphones and started to pick my pace.

To this day, I never stopped again to look at those wonderful dancing lights.

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