How NOT to sell a boy band: DRESS THEM LIKE FREAKING POPCORNS!

While writing the earlier post and searching the internet–I came across a picture so disturbing, so horrifying–I almost fell on my bed.

This.

Holy POPCORN, BATMAN!

I don’t know who to blame, but I want specifics. Is it that danged stylist again? Is it you, Johnny? Is it any of the boys? I want specifics because YOU DON’T DRESS A BOY BAND LIKE OVERCOOKED CORN KERNELS!!!

I am really confused. Is this really the way we want to package our boys (arguably, one of the most sought-after boy band in Japan)? Like corn kernels placed in a microwave? I can look beyond the stripy uniform that seemed like it was stolen in a long-forgotten diner…but it’s the fracking headress that’s giving me headaches.

And frack, did you even see the faces of these boys? Ninomiya looks like he wants to punch the photographer, the stylist, the road manager, even Johnny himself, for bringing this kind embarrassment into his life. My MatsuJun is like two seconds away from crying. Who wouldn’t? You used to be the mighty and obnoxious Domyouji Tsukasa and now you are dressed like a giant pop corn and the suit you are wearing is worse than stupid!

I’ve been saying this over and over again. Arashi’s stylist or whoever is in charge of their branding and imaging fracking hates them! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Arashi has to update their costumes because it’s so pathetic!

As far as I am concerned, Arashi are IDOLS, not some two-bit variety show act. These boys are icons, the most that can be given to them are good styling tips!

Again, I bemoan the fact that I can be an Arashi stylist and save them from any more theme park costumes. Their fashion style affects the sellability of an Idol.

3 thoughts on “How NOT to sell a boy band: DRESS THEM LIKE FREAKING POPCORNS!

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