Starving for curves

Here’s what I have been eating for the last seven days:

…and its many variations hereafter.
True to my claim that I am freaking tired of being handed articles of clothing marked “L” (being handed an XL hurts even further) I am slowly starving myself to my ideal weight with occasional cheating here and there.

Thing is, I have decided to focus my diet on fruits and vegetables, with boiled eggs thrown in between for good measure. For times when I am really hungry and I feel like eating my seatmate, I cheat and eat a sandwich composed of wheat bread, tomato, cucumber, lettuce and cheese. I cheat and eat what I want (minus the rice and white bread) during weekends. I haven’t been drinking coke for about a year now, but I have to sever my relationship with Sprite (I find it really hard) and sweet stuff like cakes and pastries (which I am a sucker for).

One thing that sucks about dieting is it is effing expensive. The cost of my lunch is enough to feed me for the whole day. Why is it that getting fit usually hurts in the pocket? The garden salad is delicious but priced ridiculously (thanks, 711). I suppose the easy answer for this dilemma is for me to prepare my food at home, which I hope to do in the near future. If only time would allow me to do so.

Another thing is–it really takes time to get used to eating just fruits and veggies. The first two days I tried it, I was shaking like a leaf. I was so hungry that my office mates started looking like chicken drumsticks and I was afraid that I’d just chomp their arms off like barn zombies in the Walking Dead. I was so hungry I couldn’t think straight. Now I’ve learned to stave off the hunger by munching on apples and drinking copious amounts of water.

You may think it’s unnecessary to go through the agony of this diet — but I am determined to lose pounds, even if I have to eat raisins everyday until I go down a dress size. It’s really not about the perceived beauty of being thin, but I want to do this for myself. I have been depressed for so long due to the fact that I have gotten blimp-like. Even if I manage to stave off the usual cruel jokes by morons who think greeting people with “ang taba mo! you’ve gotten fat!” is normal and humane, I just cannot shake off the painful feeling inside my chest each time I pass on an article of clothing just because it does not fit.

Hopefully, things will get better for me after this diet. I never thought I’d be part of the breed that is just dying to be thin.