Celebrations and passings

I ordered two shoes customized according to my preferred design, color, heel height and type–you get the whole picture. I figured I might as well get myself something nice, considering today is the beginning of my birthday week.

The past week has also been draining emotionally. My grandmother (my dad’s mom) passed away last Wednesday and somehow, the responsibility of arrangements and financial fell on my shoulders. Not because I was the eldest grandchild, but maybe because I am the most OC? Grandma’s passing was both painful and a relief. Painful because it was not easy losing a love one, and a relief because my grandma has been suffering silently due to old age and various illnesses in the last five years of her life. At 92 years old, she has been feeling the creaks and pains of nine decades. On one of our last conversations, grandma mentioned that she was looking forward to the time that she will be with my grandpa and two uncles who both went ahead of her. Somehow, I am glad that she got her wish, and when the Lord’s angels came to fetch her…she was asleep — her spirit passing seamlessly from this world to the next.

Again, letting her go is never easy. My grandma and I were not close when I was growing up. But somehow, my siblings and I kinda become her usual companion during the last five years of her life. Not because we have become her favorite, but somehow her other grand kids became too effing busy to spare time.

It was a relief in a sense that I knew she was tired. My God, she has seen two wars, been through martial law, raised nine kids and saw great-great-grand kids emerge from the womb of her grand children. She was always vocal about being tired and wanting to be with “those who went ahead”. I knew that when the angels arrived to take care, she was smiling — excited on the prospect of being reunited with her love ones. And you know what, it is true. My grandma looked like she was just in the midst of a good dream throughout the whole 4 day wake. She looked so serene and peaceful. I guess, she got her wish after all.

The funny thing is, at her wake, all of her grandchildren and great grandchildren were present. All of us was effing there–mourning and reminiscing about the time when she was alive. And somehow, the irony of the situation didn’t escape me. She would be thrilled knowing all of us were around. But she was gone. For the last time, my grandma pulled the ultimate feat: she was able to bring together (in one place, and without any drama) her family, even if only for four days.

One thought on “Celebrations and passings

  1. I’m sorry to hear about your lola. I miss my lola too who passed away 4 years ago….she was 89. Sometimes I wish I were more doting on her then. I wasn’t at the hospital when she died. I could’ve been but I was so scared and so sad that I felt I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

    As for the dieting…eating salads is hard haha but I do it on my lunch break sometimes. However if I’m planning on going to the gym that evening, I usually eat a heavy lunch (rice) because I wouldn’t be able to eat dinner kasi I go straight to the gym after work. Here’s to us! Kaya natin yan! Ganbatte! (tama ba spelling ko?)

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