Where KamikazeeGirl tells what she really thinks of the corporate-drone that is LMS:
Dear Current and (God-forbid) Future Me,
First, let me tell you what I really think: WHO THE EFF ARE YOU?
Because I barely recognize you anymore. You used to be really cool and careless, you used to be front and center of rock concerts and raves; used to wear those really amazing clothes and has even dreamed of shaving your hair and getting a tat or two.
But now– you bust out words like “return of investment”, “key performance index” or “cost implications” — WHO ARE YOU? I remember that we used to laugh at people who reads the Wall Street Journal and reads those self-help books that populate the shelf. Well, answer me — what was the last thing you’ve read in the internet? Wasn’t it a certain website that has the WSJ logo on its side?
Is that how growing up and growing old really works? You used to write amazing stories about human relationships and all those lifestyle stuff you used to enjoy. Now, you produce proposals and reports and all the boring shit usually associated with a corporate drone. YES, you have become a DRONE — congratulations! You have become the very person you used to have a big aversion to. You wear sleek office attires, you follow corporate rules and regulations to the letter, you say words like “I’ll take a cab and just work on the report on a Saturday”. The only thing going for you right now is your blond hair. That and the fact that you still manage to maintain a sense of nonchalance. Let that go, and you might as well turn into a stone.
You used to know your priorities. You used to value the music and the things that keep you sane. You said you will never miss your favorite band’s concert…but where were you last Thursday? You were at the office, talking about that god damned “key performance indicators” mixed with the “grass roots awareness” BS. After that, you kept on being angry at yourself for missing something that you know your soul badly needs — a respite, a chance to breathe, a chance to feel young and reckless once again…
And so, you remain angry. So angry, you managed to convince me to write this letter. You knew that the things that were once important to you are slowly slipping away from your grasp, and so you are afraid. Afraid that the person you are bound to become is the same person that you fiercely detest: a numbers-crunching, report-making, insurance-paying, designer coffee-sipping yuppie whose worries are often times limited to the amount reflected on her bank account. Your only means to get away from this possibility is to literally GET AWAY, drain the bank account and jet to a foreign city and be as anonymous as possible.
If there’s one thing I can tell you–there’s still hope. You’re not a drone yet. NOT YET but pretty close especially when you wear those sleek pumps, black slacks and that killer white long-sleeved shirt you thrifted from your favorite ukay. This early, recognize the things that are really important and hold on to them. Learn to speak out–you used to do that so well–on things that really matter to you.
You do know that I am your biggest fan and harshest critic. I am you and you are me. Please do not be the person we used to hate.
Kamikazee Girl 🙂