Confessions of a SPA virgin

I finally popped my overdue SPA cherry.

Thirty plus years in this world, and I had my first ever SPA experience this Saturday. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t have “spa-going” friends or is it because I was just too poor to spend money on my self. Anyway, the Queen and I have been planning to try Wensha Spa in Buendia, Pasay for the longest time already. The Queen has her own set of “seriously sosy, spa-going” friends whom she occasionally indulge with.

But me–the most indulgence that I had is the occasional foot spa in the mall. So, when the opportunity finally presented itself yesterday, I finally had a go with it. Since obviously this is my first time to go to a spa, I don’t know how it really goes so I ended up mirroring my sister’s every movement. At least, it saved me from looking like a complete idiot while inside Wensha.

Wensha Spa (*picture not mine - from

Anyway, here are a few realizations coming from a spa newbie:

1. Your repressed body issues will come to haunt you when you are in the company of butt nekkid people – Hey, I thought I was Ms.Cool and Liberated, but this assumption turned to shit when I was suddenly thrust in a room full of butt naked women parading their body, with boobies in all shapes and sizes PLUS vajayjays (and their accompanying bushes) in full display. After recovering from the initial shock, I now have to think of how I am going to get out of my clothes without looking like a complete idiot. Yeah, it might be because of body issues–as you prolly know, I am overweight but thing is–I am not surrounded by “36-24-26” beauties, I am surrounded by REAL people with varying body types. In fact, as I was wrestling from my bra which got tangled in my robe (I was being squeamish), an old lady walked by in front of me, boobs (which I think fed half a basketball team) and PH in full glory. Thing is, I always have a problem getting naked, I am closest to my sister, the Queen but it was the first time that she’d seen my boobs hanging out from everywhere (we were getting a massage then). I recall that even my mom haven’t seen any of my tiny bits and would prolly not see them in my lifetime (if I can help it). The experience of going to the spa taught me that I should be more accepting of my body, and should start realizing that–in spite of rolls of fat and cellulite–this is my body and it has served me quite well. I should be more proud of it.

2. It’s hard to enjoy a really good massage when your naked butt is hanging into thin air – after the sauna and steam bath, my sister and I checked in to the full massage area and was promptly treated to a really good body massage.For once, I heard my old, tired body popping and creaking as the (really good) masseuse’s talented hands kneaded and massaged all my body tired muscles and aching bones. As the session wore on, she asked if it’s okay to massage my butt, of course I said yes cos I wasn’t about to say “no” to something that I haven’t even experienced yet. So, the masseuse pulled my panties down (yes, I wore panties instead of going full commando, what can I say? I am a party-pooper) and exposed my butt to the whole world. Mercifully, she covered my head so I guess the other clients there won’t know the owner of the big, SMOOTH butt hanging out in full view of the whole Full Body Massage Room. Hehe, yes — that was mine! So while I was given a reaaaaally good massage, all I could think of was: “wow, this is so good….i can finally feel the muscle tension ebbing away…*f*ck, my butt is hanging out, good thing the towel is covering my face!” This went on and on for the good hour.

3. Some people are just born with “really good hands” — the masseuse who was mercifully assigned my creaking body was a few inches smaller than me, and prolly weighed about two of my thunder tights and my belly pouch combined, but displayed the strength of a sumo wrestler and the skillful hands of someone who groped people for a living. She is that good! While she skillfully massaged my ass, I kept thinking of how hard working and dedicated she may be in a job that exposed her to hundreds of boobs and asses. The clincher was, when during the massage finale, she was able to lift all 100++++ pounds of me for the final stretch.

4. Going to the spa sounds a lot better when you have a full buffet menu waiting for you at the end of all the treatments – my motivation for finally strolling in my birthday suit (half of it anyway) at the busy women’s locker room was the fact that a free-for-all shabu-shabu is waiting for me at the other room.

5. Splurging once in a while is good for your body, mind and soul – feeling a lot better now and is actually looking forward to another visit at the spa maybe next month?

2 Replies to “Confessions of a SPA virgin”

  1. I don’t think I’m ready for this experience yet. It took me years to finally get a back massage…take note!…back massage lang because I’m quite ticklish and I squirm and giggle a bit. I’ve only had a back massage for about 5 times at Posh Nails…it’s not even a full fledge spa but a nail salon that just happens to offer other services as well. The girls there are pretty nice so I decided to try the back massage which I enjoyed naman. I only need to take off my bra but one time I got asked if I wanted to take off my pants as well (because I considered getting a full body massage) and I immediately made up excuses that I changed my mind and that I’d just go back to getting my usual back massage. (I told the girl I had my period and was uncomfortable taking my pants off…ha!)

    I say sorry quite a lot when getting a massage…becuase I still move around a bit and can’t lie still even if the world depended on it…it depends…recently I’m trying to learn how to be comfy and the lady said I’ll get used to it eventually.

    Grabe, saludo ako sa iyo!

    1. F, I tell you — i still get nightmares thinking about all the boobies and the “u know what” i have seen LIVE, and IN PERSON that day.
      It felt like being in some weird nudist place and being the only shy person around cos you’d rather have all your teeth pulled than take off your panties :p

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