“…karma’s a bitch, buddy”

Wanna meet the person who is making me miserable these past few days?

sorry jabba, you're the nearest peg I can find 😦

This is how you break the hearts and dreams of people under your stead:
1. You tell them to do one thing, then promptly rat them out to the big boss and embellish statements and misdeeds. This will assure that you will get the danged position that you are pathetically after.

2. Act high and mighty, cover your ass at all times. when needed, get the intensity of a newly-bought vacuum cleaner and seriously suck ass. If you happen to step on other people’s toes while in the process, do so. Remember that this is for your own good and professional growth.

3. Demean and bad mouth others. If you have the capacity to do this while their backs are turned (and when they are at their weakest)–please do so. While you systematically ruin the life of other people, do not forget to boost your own ego. Speak well about your capabilities. Embellish if needed. Make people look stupid and useless, meanwhile–make sure you look well while doing the destruction of others.

4. Say bad things about your colleagues, especially if they are of the same job capacity and might pose as a risk for your coveted position. Tell the big boss that they are lazy oafs and better off as underlings than bosses.

5. Always protect yourself at all times. Make it sound like every good idea is your idea, and every bad one is the idea of the person next to you. Remember, you should be infallible.

6. Learn to coax and goad the big boss. It will be a big help for your ambition.

7. Pretend you are doing most of the work when the truth is all you do is sit on your corpulent ass and fiddle on your gadget. You will look busy and authoritative.

8. Act giddy when the big boss is around. If you can train your tongue to automatically shoot out your mouth and wag in anticipation the better. A good dose of drool won’t hurt either.

9. Train your brethren and minions to suck ass, even at a young age. Remember, the road to eternal damnation begins in a single step.

10. Always keep a hunting knife at hand. You can never tell when it will be handy when you need to bury it at the back of others

“Jabba the Hutt exempliefies lust, greed, and gluttony…”

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Hawk Eye says:

    Brilliant! Love it and am left wanting more – personally, I liken my mouth to a nice Dyson :0

  2. Tina says:

    hahahaha! Lani I love this post! Everything you said was effing true. That big fat bastard… tsk tsk very un-classy, very un-educated, “low blow”… As i mentioned before, they’ll get the wrath of karma soon….

    1. lanilakwatsera says:

      Karma will have her field day, babe!
      Thanks for visiting my blog…hehehe! Na-discover mo na pala!
      I am going through so much pain, but I will be okay…prayers and the support of the “miserable kids club” helps a lot 🙂
      See you — looking forward to my new post (aka the Hotel Escapade)

  3. fizzywoohoo says:

    Lanikun, as a huge star wars fan, I am slightly (note: slightly lang naman) offended that you used one of the iconic characters from my fandom. Though I’m sure Han Solo wouldn’t mind your description, can’t you find any other character that’s more vile?! hehe

    *hugs*hugs*hugs* You are strong person & you will get out of this alive & they can all kiss your @ss. I thought you were leaving them na?

    1. lanilakwatsera says:

      sorry for using good old Jabba the Hutt Fizzy…but the moron who’s making my life miserable looks a freaking lot like him! as I’ve said, as much as it pains me to associate a pond scum with a character from one of the greatest movie ever made, he is the CLOSEST PEG!

      Peace! ( __ __) V

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s