It’s (NOT) the end of the world as we know it…

Where were you last Saturday?
I was at home, hurrying to meet the 6PM deadline for the Rapture, preparing by taking a good, long bath. I didn’t want to meet my Maker smelling like cats and cooked chicken. Somehow, I envisioned meeting God smelling like green tea and with newly washed hair. The Queen and I were racing to finish our bath by 6PM. I mean, you wouldn’t want to be caught dead with your pants down (literally).

It may seem funny now, but truth is–while I never believed the May 21 prediction, I was pre-disposed to accept my fate whatever it may be. My understanding of the teachings of the Holy Book tells us that no one can predict when or where the Lord will come down to Earth to smite the sinners and bring the holy back to his kingdom. We cannot predict when the Rapture will take place. It is only Him who knows the time and the best that we can do is to remain ready for this great event NO MATTER WHAT DATE.

I mean, a part of me thinks that it’s a bummer to be God when people on earth know when you’ll be dropping by for a visit. It’s like the usual Department of Education inspection in school where teachers coach you to stop giving stupid answers; and starts assigning the brilliant few to answer the (pre-rehearsed) questions that will be thrown later in by the (well-rehearsed) teacher. Quite honestly, it takes the excitement and REALNESS out of the spectacle.

This made me think that we humans are really a selfish lot. We want to know exactly when we will be judged for our misdeeds on earth so that 1) we can change our ways and maybe pass for savable human beings once the God Lord arrives; and 2) so that we can review and take stock of our weaknesses and sins. The sad truth is, we humans can be greedy little bastards when we want to.

Saturday, I told my dad and my husband that I am cooking chicken noodle soup and fried chicken while we await the coming of 6PM. I reasoned out that at least, we had a great last meal, if ever it’ll start raining fires and hail by 6:30PM. The rest of the family laughed, but my dad didn’t find it funny, saying we shouldn’t joke on things “like that”. I didn’t know that he was afraid of this prediction (he was very quiet and looked serious) — maybe he was worrying that we didn’t have a bomb shelter at home, or worse–that we haven’t won the lotto yet. I think he is planning to use the PHP240M pot money to buy us a slot on the giant “ark” that the Chinese were building in time for the great flood. (Oooops, I think I was talking about 2012…sorry, I watch too many movies).

Anyway, 6PM came and went….uhm, nope, no Rapture… We again waited for 12MN….still….nothing…..Oh-kaaaay, moving on….

Lest you think that I am making light of this very serious situation and of the End of Days, I am not. As mentioned, I’d like to think that I am prepared to meet Him when He deemed fit to walk the Earth again. I am not the best human being out there and I kinda have sins too, but I am very much aware that I serve only One person. That my life and all that there is to it is devoted to Him. I’d like to think that I haven’t hurt anyone during my 30+ years of existence and that I haven’t taken His name in vain. I may not earn high marks as a person, but I think I’ll make it to passing grade.

But know what? I don’t understand why we keep waiting for the “signs of the times”. Look around us: there is war, hunger, poverty and disease. Left and right, people die in the hands of their fellow human beings. The air is poisoned and the earth is not as stable as we think it should be. Isn’t this enough proof for us to start taking stock on who we are as a person? Isn’t this enough for us to start loving the earth and our fellow human beings (no matter how annoying they maybe)?

Actually, if you want to know the reason why the Rapture didn’t took place (as expected) last Saturday, here is the REAL reason:

R.I.P Randy Savage "Macho Man" -- telling a clueless Jesus to give us losers one more chance. PICTURE NOT MY PROPERTY!

Kudos to the artist who made this funny tribute to Macho Man (who died of heart attack Friday). Hey uptight church goers I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. I am sure Jesus and the Macho Man is having a real laugh over this funny picture somewhere up in the clouds…

2 thoughts on “It’s (NOT) the end of the world as we know it…

  1. My cousin and I watched a double header…Pirates of the Carribean IV and then Priest. I was at mass during the supposed rapture. Oh and both movies were pretty good & entertainining..though, no offense to Johnny Depp..but Paul Bettany was more kick ass.

    And awww…yes! RIP to the Macho Man…ooooh yeah!!!!

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