wanna have the cheekbones of your dreams?

see the cheekbones?

the beautiful and yummy Godfrey Gao, modeling for Louis Vuitton

agyness deyn

If your cheeks quite resemble newly risen baked bread, I have the solution for you. Presenting, the means to achieve that sexy, protruding cheekbones that will immediately give you ten thousand model points.

My solution:

massage that cheek fat away!

Okay, forgive my ugly mug gracing this post. But what I am trying to demonstrate (or show, to be exact) is the pink contraption I have in my hand. I don’t know what they call it, a “face massager”? But this Y-shaped thing will massage your cheek fat to kingdom come, giving you chiseled looks that can win you any modeling campaign. (Though, do note that the chiseled face will have to come with a chiseled body too, of course).

I first saw this being used by one of the contestants on the local show Pinoy Big Brother. The girl was using this practically everywhere and I got curious (not to mention, desperate to rid myself of extra fat). So, I’ve been looking for this stuff for a year now, before finally encountering it in Saizen.

So, how do you use this? Quite easy actually. You just roll the wheels attached to both ends of the contraption then push and pull away, until you feel all your face fat melt. When you think you’ve finally achieved the face and body type of Agyness Deyn or Godfrey Gao, you can use the massager for headaches.

So, in the interest of science (and because I am a crazy girl), I will monitor if there are any changes in my face during the course of the period I am using it. Will it be able to transform my siopao-like cheeks to that of Agyness Deyn? Will I grow cheekbones? That remains to be seen… Boredom really has a way of making you do a lot of stupid things: here’s my plan — I will use the face massager for a month (starting yesterday May 03 and will end on June 03) and report to the three loyal people who reads this blog if there are any significant changes in my face. And because I have a way of inducing gag-reflex in my readers just by being all-out makapal ang mukha, I will post weekly pictures to prove if a) it’s working, so please buy one at Saizen; or b) it’s pure crap, use the PHP85 to buy a set meal of burger and fries instead. Or if all else fails, fake it with make-up.

I just hope you have strong tolerance for shite. My ugly mug can actually ruin your appetite πŸ™‚
I also have a face soap and all-in-one cream given by a good friend which I hope to test and try out by next week. Will also let you know if it works.

Let the experimenting begin!

3 thoughts on “wanna have the cheekbones of your dreams?

    • Haha! Thanks for asking! It’s still not Supermodel worthy.
      But on the upside, it no longer resembles newly-risen bread. You can check out some of my pics, which unfortunately littered this blog.

      Your comment made me realize that I didn’t post what happened after I used the face massager.

      Well, the answer is it didn’t work. The changes on the cheekbones is more because I had to starve myself silly and run like hell to lose the extra weight.

      Thanks for asking! πŸ™‚

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