The search for an (internet) connection: 2 days, and I smell desperation

You will never guess where I am updating this blog.
In an INTERNET CAFE, somewhere in urbane Makati…surrounded by kids shouting unprintables as they battle virtual assassins on the world wide web; people making a virtual connection on a very public place and what not. In short, its 1998 once again and I have returned to my former life as an internet cafe habitue.

You may prolly sense desperation, I take no offense. I have felt the first waves of desperation and cabin fever as I have begun to curse too violently to the God-forsaken router and the totally inept SkyCable broadband connection. Oh, how I hated that company with a passion now. Imagine me typing this on a foreign place–a public one at that, and you can just imagine the utter desperation building inside my brain. Plus, I have been to too many wonderful places this week (ate at the Spiral at the Sofitel–the experience was superb!) and I can’t even fucking write about it COS I HAVE NO INTERNET CONNECTION AT HOME. Sucks big time, I know.

I don’t know how I am going to upload really cool pictures taken at the hotel, or tell you about the amazing time I have with the Hubby. I have gotten really mental cos I need my internet connection. It was like battling with a different kind of addiction–

1. At first, I was All Zen — “Oh, now that I don’t have internet, I can do things that I used to do when I was still not suckered by the world wide web”. I hauled 28 kilograms worth of laundry to the cleaners; I communicated with the outside world and even had a pleasant chat with my dad; and then started covering all my books and that of the hubby in plastic (something I should have done a long time ago). Then, I sat down and had a really great time reading “Kitchen Confidential”, Anthony Bourdain’s best selling (and a New York Times best seller) memoir of his early years as a chef. As mentioned before, I love Anthony Bourdain. Yup, finished the book in two days.

I hope to make a more detailed post about this book, hopefully when things start working well at home. But, I finished this book in two days…one day, nineteen hours and 30 minutes to be exact after I bought my copy at Fully Booked last Friday. This book serves as a nice wake-up call to those who think that a 6-month certificate in a chef school plus nifty new chef coat makes them a chef. Think again. Shit, Anthony Bourdain is a freakin’ genius and a very amusing read. When I grow old, I wish I to have his wisdom and his passion for his chosen profession. To me, Tony Bourdain is the only EFFING CULINARY GOD! You can have Bobby Flay in all his grilled glory for all I care, I’ll have Bourdain anytime!

2. (After finishing the book) I am again reminded of the lack of internet at home at started becoming ANTSY. I started hauling my stuff, threatening people that I will leave and look for a connection elsewhere. I started becoming a general annoyance to my long-suffering hubby. I started bullying even the cats. It was the symptoms of cabin fever and I knew I had to get out of the house. I packed my bag, Momo, the Hubby and headed to Ayala Mall where I can surf and taste internet again.

3. Then, at Coffee Bean (where I paid 600 bucks for afternoon merienda and net connection — the food was glorious, the net connection sucks) I became agitated again due to the intermittent connection and due to the annoying group of banshees shrieking their heads off as they share their amorous and sexual conquests in the Queen’s language (however, their grammar and sentence construction was really off). And because I am such a mean bitch (and because it can get quite boring looking for net connection) I started eavesdropping on the people sitting near my table. I know that the Filipina who was luridly stroking the thigh of the middle eastern looking dude on the next table will go out on a date with him tomorrow evening again–and “pleeeese buy me a bag naman, meybee a Luis Vutton pleeeeze?” and that my favorite banshees were discussing the love problems of their ilk–specifically, if she should tell the object of her affection that she wants to be courted but would prefer it that she doesn’t look to cheap. Whatever that means. After a few more minutes of the Filipina and middle eastern dude flirting like they owned the place, the hubby finally said, “Can we leave please?” I had no choice but to follow — thus, I didn’t get to hear the resolution on the banshees love problems.

4. Finally, it was acceptance. Resigned that today is another internet-less day, I dragged the hubby to the internet shop…where I still sit this very moment, typing this post.

I know it’s quite pathetic when you look at it. I mean, I used to exist without net, without my blog…but a few years of enjoying being wired, and then I am hooked. As in I can’t imagine not being able to see the familiar sites, or seeing the cute little fox on Mozilla Firefox run and come up with the familiar WordPress homepage. I really should get help, I know. Else, I will find myself sitting on this very public net cafe tomorrow and the next day, and the next. Until that frigging router behaves.

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