If ever there is a person who sorely lacks the skills to smooch on a REALLY difficult client, I think it would be me. I am really known for having no patience when dealing with the stupid things that clients usually ask for. And unfortunately, I tend to lose my sanity and composure especially during instances when clients are asking the impossible from me.
Don’t get me wrong–I know that being the account manager for a really big account, and doing public relations meant that I have to be more patient and more at peace on the numerous demands, impossible requests and the general impossibility of doing client servicing. In my two months, I pretty much had my share of requests and demands that can make anyone go: “WTF??????”
Consider this: been asked to explain a certain change in design and have it emailed to client IMMEDIATELY—the problem is, what client needs is exactly stated and attached in the email message that he’s been replying to; i had a client who ignored all emails, reminders, pleadings and ALL-OUT PAKIUSAP for an event that is due to be staged in less than a month, only to resurface two weeks before event, change the whole concept than firmly reiterate that he wants only the best for the account.
However, looking through this site, CLIENTS FROM HELL, made me realize that I am still a lucky bitch. Here are some ANONYMOUSLY SUBMITTED impossible demands from equally impossible clients:
Website in a Drawer
Client: “I’ve got this website, but could you put it on a CD so my customers can view it easier?”
Me: “They’ll be viewing it on a computer, right? Do they not have internet?”
Client: “They have internet, but this way if they want to view my material, they can quickly pull the CD out of their desk drawer and put it in the computer. This way if they want to show other customers my material, they can pass the CD to them.”
“Can you just take High School Musical’s exact MySpace and just photoshop my actors’ heads onto those Disney fags?”
Client: “I want the website finished by tomorrow.”
Me: “Sorry, tomorrow is Christmas and I’ll be with my family tonight and tomorrow.”
Client: “Do I look like Santa Claus? Get it done.”
Client: “I’m afraid I can’t afford the monthly figure at the moment.”
Me: “Oh no – that’s hourly.”
Client: ”I could get a stripper for that!”
Me: ”If she’s as good with Photoshop as I am, then she is the better deal.”
I tell you, I don’t know whether to cry or to thank the Gods for not giving me these people. But I don’t wanna speak too soon, cos I have just been assigned (LUCKY ME!) the equivalent of eleven accounts, all big companies, top-notch clients and paying premium money to the agency. I was assigned some of the hardest, most sensitive accounts and I am not even sure yet if its a blessing or a curse.
I guess I have to write more about life as a Senior PR Consultant. I noticed that ever since I took this job, my personal posts headed south and update of this online journal suffered severely, no thanks to my miserable life as a corporate slave. Hmmmnn, I will try to write more and share more about my new life as a primero loser extraordinaire… though I had to be really careful cos my new company has this Blogging Policy–meaning, I cannot disclose too much about the company, our clients and all the gripes that go it.
Anyway, I really owe my readers…will try to catch up as soon as I get out of my weird obligations with work.