The Common Colds Survival Kit

I am tempted to name this post: THE SNOT SURVIVAL KIT but a strong sense of decorum and the fact that I am not that SHAMELESS stopped me from doing so. Anyway, since I’ve spilled the beans on the original title of this post, we move on.

The reason for the absence of a post yesterday is because your Kamikazee Girl was down with a bad case of colds and mild fever. Yes, me–in spite my usual posturings of being indestructible, I must admit that a common cold is the best way to zap the life out of me.

Anyway, like kryptonite to Superman, colds (or “sipon” in Tagalog) is my downfall. I got sick due to stress, I was hospitalized, I had chronic headaches, got through minor accidents but what would be my greatest downfall is always the common cold. I hated acquiring these from unlikely sources cos the minute I get the virus, I will be reduced to a miserable heap: a sneezing, nose-blowing, coughing, phlegm-hacking (*sorry*) miserable little bitch headed for a 38 degree fever and an aching head.

This happened to me last night and thank God for a kind and loving hubby who tended to me the whole night that I was miserable, intermittently bringing me my medicines and checking me if I was drenched in sweat.

…of all the bad things I’ve done, I must have done something right to be given this guy for a husband.

Anyway, for three days (and counting): this has been a common fixture on my office desk, my bed side table…and virtually ANYWHERE that I am present. I call ’em the SNOT SURVIVAL KIT:

KamikazeeGirl's SNOT SURVIVAL KIT

I highly recommend these stuff to anyone who is battling the EVIL SNOT! Since common colds is virus-borne and can easily be transferred to anyone who is unfortunately on the same vicinity as the carrier. (Do note that my SNOT SURVIVAL KIT is pictured with my plasticine alter-ago)

First, have a good HAND SANITIZER ready. You use this when you blow your nose, or if you cough or if you suddenly sneezed. The idea is to make sure that the virus will not be transmitted to your girlfriend or your boyfriend when you hold his hand a minute after sneezing and expelling all these god-awful snot on your hand. (Hopefully, you have a tissue or a hanky to wipe the slime off your hand…or worse, face). It also helps to have alcohol if you don’t have ALCOGEL. Me–being crazy–has both. I use Bench’s Hand Sanitizer which I bought for PHP28 and generic alcohol brand which I transfer to small spray-on bottle (the better to spray off those germs).

Second, always have mints. Choose one that is not too strong (it will make your cough worse) but just enough to keep your breath fresh. I try Marks & Spencer Strong Mint (about 130, I think).

Oh, having an anti-stress balm or ointment is also a good idea, especially when you feel a headache coming due to the cold build-up in your nose. The one I am currently using is not mine, I filched it from Mr. G who lent it to me after hearing me whine endlessly (and pathetically) due to my aching head. I think the brand is called Life Savers Anti-Stress Balm, though I don’t know where he bought it or how much it cost him. This particular brand is so good and smells good too! (Basically, I don’t smell like my grandmum).

Have a good lip balm ready cos it’s useless to apply lipstick, especially when you’re blowing your nose every 10 seconds. The lip balm will also keep your kissers from chafing.

And lastly (and most importantly) — PLEASE DO HAVE TISSUES/NAPKINS READY especially when you have a runny nose. Be a good human being and avoid passing on to virus to unsuspecting people. Choose good quality tissues, the kind that: a) is unscented cos scented tissues will just irritate the nose more; b) is not to rough — or you risk looking like the (late) King of Pop with a badly scratched and irritated nose and c) not too soft or easily disintegrates — cos no girl would look so fly if she has bits and pieces of tissue sticking out her nose or left up her face after she just used it.

Anyway, take it from the girl who elevated contracting colds to an art form. Make sure you don’t pass this shitty virus from spreading. You’ll never know if I maybe the girl beside you and if you start sneezing my way and you don’t cover your nose or mouth or use a tissue — I might go all gentlewoman–ly and douse you with alcohol.

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