These past few weeks, I’ve been entirely acting like a drowned rat that’s been too miserable to even save my life. A lot of shitty things have been happening to me this past few weeks and alone in my room, I have come to realize that I have been acting like a loser whining endlessly of her miserable existence. Of her annoying superiors.
..and then, it hit me.
My peg and favorite fictional b*tch of all time, Blair Waldorf, would not allow herself to look like a loser (and a first class loser, at that) at the face of extreme adversity. As Patrick Swayze said in Dirty Dancing “No one puts Baby in a corner…”
Blair, the Queen Bee of Constance Bilard School for Girls, will not allow anyone to put her in a corner alright. Yeah, she would act like the uber drama queen that she is and would rant and wail of her seemingly bad fortune. But to be treated and to act like a LOSER? No freaking way and you could bet her newly-purchased Stuart Weitzman bow clutch that she’d plan out a sweet yet painful revenge on every person that OWE her.
And so, alone in my room at 12:48AM and still thinking of the misfortune which befell me and my friends, I couldn’t help but wonder, “if pushed into my current situation–what would Blair Waldorf do?”
For one, she would not allow a balding old midget to push her around. She’d make sure to sweetly follow his advice and his useless meanderings then surreptitiously turn her initiatives around to make it look like it was her idea all along. If the idea doesn’t go well, Blair would document the failings and make sure that it would be reflected on the miserable soul who annoyingly exists in her world.
Blair, as sweet as she is, would act like she was interested on what the BIG LOSER has to say only to dismiss and bad mouth him in the end.
Point number two: Blair would know how to play with the rules and turn it into her favor. This is the same way on how she keeps a tight rein on the social scene of Constance Bilard. Blair has a power of making people believe that she totally understands and empathizes with them when in reality, she’s secretly laughing at their faces.
And oh, Blair would be sure to turn in her projects and perform her initiatives even beyond the effing expectations of others. As part of her sweet need to overachieve and be on top of everything, Blair will never be a pathetic mess-up. She’d be so perfect, people at work will kill to find a single mistake on her finished projects.
And lastly, Blair will never be caught dead whining and looking like a loser. Like the Queen Bee that she is, she would held her head high, PLOT SWEET REVENGE and rule her kingdom while pathetic mortals fall hook, line and sinker with whatever she says.
Blair–however pathetic, insecure and vulnerable she may be–knows when to assert her rights. Blair knows when to speak up or shut up (if it will save her pretty ass). Blair wouldn’t anyone bully her around (oh, maybe except for Chuck but that’s subject to “three words, eight letters and i am yours”)
In her sheltered little word, my Blair Waldorf reigns supreme as queen.
In the end, I may not be as pretty as Blair or my clothes are hella cheaper than hers. But we Drama Queens have one admirable trait: it is during times of adversity that we are at our most wicked.