Not what it seems.

day to day living is killllllling me.

I don’t easily get impressed. Maybe it’s the due to working with celebrities and pseudo-celebrities early in life. In my life, I maintain that only three people can make me drop my jaw and be in total awe: Barack Obama, Brandon Boyd and oh, Matsumoto Jun.

For me, the things people do is for their day to day existence is just part of an elaborate act just to get through an otherwise horrendous day. I always maintained that the minute we get out of our homes, we hide the real us and begin utilizing the different personalities that we have in store in our nifty little bags and use it based on our needs. Whoever we really are–we show it to the people who really matter in our lives: our family, our loved ones, our friends and people important to us.

Save from the people who we’re willing to take a bullet for: it’s a superficial world, baby.

I’ve been working for 10 years and has been a corporate slave for so many companies than I care to count. Out of these companies, I’ve had gazillions of friends who I obviously left behind when I decided to move forward with my life. After the fifth company and the fifth round of goodbyes, I kinda hated the desolation I put myself and stopped just sharing too much unless I am really good friends with the person. It’s a lot of a bother just sharing too much to too many people that I finally decided to just whittle it down and save myself from the hurt out of saying goodbye to people.

So, I stopped trusting too much people. And I stopped being impressed with things and other people in general. Of the very few things and persons who manage to win my respect and my admiration–I kinda wished that they kinda be worth it.

Imagine the disappointment if they proved otherwise. It just sucks when people aren’t what they seem. Sometimes, you’d wish to give them the time of the day to get to know them but then, what’s the point right?

3 Comments Add yours

  1. fizzywoohoo says:

    Alam mo I’ve been thinking about this recently din…how I cannot seem to fall in love with working in the corporate world…because some thrive in it whereas little ol me just seems to get eaten up by it. Like you I’ve been working for a long time na din…12 years…some people might argue na wala lang yan because they’ve been at it for 20, 25, 30 years…siguro they love it, malay ko. But I’ve always been jealous of those folks who wake up each day looking forward to their work..or that thing that they do that they love so much it no longer feels like work. I want to be like them din..but I still don’t know where that is. Mala U2 na I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

    You said that when you leave the house, you put on another personality..ako when I leave the house, I have an invisible box over my head because these new people at work are not yet worthy of my true self. (wala pa sila sa level ng people from airphil…and I don’t think they’ll ever reach that level)

    And here it’s like you constantly need to impress people or always show them your best side…na in case you fail even just a tiny little bit, deadma na to all the hard work that you did prior to it. Hay…whether it’s my previous job or now at the evil empire…it’s all the same….they just have more money here and the “wolves” are dressed in fancier sheep’s clothing.

  2. fizzywoohoo says:

    sorry for unloading here…sana nga i can unload with you more soon…thanks for listening!

    1. lanilakwatsera says:

      Unload all you want Fizzy! That’s what friends are for
      Don’t be bothered by the fact that we always get disillusioned with work or people. I mean, it’s the way the world goes. The best protection is to always protect and keep yourself sane and alive. In my case, it’s putting on another personality for people who don’t really matter.

      Remember, the big WOW? Well, it’s gone and the armour is completely off. Now, it’s a big contempt. People are not really what they seem.
      Glad that phase is over cos when I look back, it’s kinda cringe-worthy. And embarrassing.

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