Wanting it so bad, it hurts…

“When you want something, the whole Universe conspires to help you realize your desire…”
— Paulo Coelho

I am currently exhausting all possible means just to get a job in the City State that I’ve been eyeing on for quite some time now. Right now, this takes all my energy, concentration and will power.

It’s like wanting something so bad it consumes you and occupies all your waking moment. After my ardent desire to have a child, my desire and my dream to land a job overseas comes closely next. My target is the City State nearest my country known for its clean and safe environment, and a myriad of opportunities for those who seek it.

This began after I received a notice for an interview from an agency where I submitted my resume. While the interview went well (I think!), a part of me knows that I am just one of the possible choices to get the job abroad. While deep in my heart, I am praying and I am hoping against hope that God will give me this opportunity, a part of me also knows that I have to be strong-willed and also check out on other advertisements just to ensure that I will get noticed and that I will get hired abroad. I am that steadfast.

I don’t have any choices, really. While my current job here in the Philippines is enough and pays actually well for my current position, I also realize that in order for me to send my kids to good schools and build a good life for my family, I will need to get out of the country. I pretty much given up hope regarding my future here. The Hubby starts my decision and he is willing to sacrifice for us both–for that I am thankful.

Right now, I registered for membership specializing in overseas Filipinos. God willing, I will be finally one of them. While it is sad that Filipinos come to equate leaving the motherland to finding our happy ending, in a nutshell, it is the truth.

I can’t even imagine life for my (future) kids in this country. The possibility that they will experience the hardships and the challenges I’ve experiences; that they will miss out on better opportunities frightens me. Sad as it may seem, I see myself as an example of someone who missed out on a lot of things–no thanks to the type of life I was brought up with. I have worked hard for every single thing that I call my little “luxuries”.

I just wish the Universe hears out my pleas. I wanted to give back to my dad and my mom. At their age, they deserve more than the usual retirement benefits. I wanted to ensure that my children will grow up happy and full of opportunities. I want The Hubby to be someone his parents can be proud of.

This path I have come to choose will not be easy. But the Lord knows I am willing to sacrifice. With his help and his guidance, I will succeed.

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