Pardon the smug looking pictures above. It’s obvious, I love ’em…
(damn, I look so smug. And what’s with the annoying smirk? haha! you KG’s a brat princess)
Anyway, in four days I will be officially saying goodbye to my youth. I’d be officially an adult–albeit an incapable and indecisive one. I’d be the person I usually hate (‘dem adults…!) The one expected to start a family, make sound decisions–personally and financially. I’d be the one expected to think using the head and not emotions, the one who should be capable of making “landmark” decisions.
Usually when my birthday rolls around, I turn extra crazy–going in full discerning mode and all. I tend to look back on the things I have done and achieved in the last year, and take stock of what I pretty much I did with my life. Last year was pretty hard for me–I was newly married, broke, at a pretty bad shape due to my failing health, I was at my wit’s end on my previous job, not to mention I celebrated my birthday with me sulking on my bed.
In my mind–no one can be more pathetic than this.
But I survived (with God’s Grace) to another year of my life–He gave me and the Hubby a new job; my health recovered and even in my small way, improved my relationship with my in-laws. I am happier this year YET there are still things I wanted to achieve.
Before, I kept questioning my existence and if I’ve achieved anything at all. Having an over-achiever for a younger sister didn’t help boost my ego either. I was so proud of how far the baby sis has achieved in her young life, yet very sad on where mine was going. The only thing I had going for me are my dreams, no matter how raw they maybe, and a family and a husband that loves me unconditionally.
It is until recently that I managed to accept who I really am and who I am not. I learned to be thankful for what I can do and for the blessings He continues to shower upon me, the Hubby and my family. I learned to be contented with what I have, yet continue dreaming that someday, maybe if I worked hard enough, I will also get to buy the things that I want, visit the places I want to see and be someone worth my parents’ admiration.
I learned to love my parents more–and accept them for their frailties and annoying quirks. Yes, my mom and her issues with money still annoy the hell out of me–yet, I learned to listen more to what she was saying before I even open my mouth. I learned to be more cautious of my dad, who is growing more and more sensitive as he gets older. I learned to be more patient and accepting of my Baby Sis and Baby Bro who both have the power to break and mend my heart at the same time. I learned to accept and understand the Hubby more: to be supportive of his undertakings and mourn his failures along with him.
Today’s the start of my birthday week and I have a thousand wishes ready– hoping that He hears it all, yet accepting that not all of them will come true, AT ONCE. Though someday, I know these wishes–one at a time–will come true.