subita morte exstingui*

In Journalism parlance, to “write – 30 -” is to denote completion of a story…so when “one writes 30” is meant to signify the end of life.

For the past days “to write 30” has taken a different meaning for me.
Suddenly, people I know or vaguely related to me are dying. And they are all 30 plus years old

A few day ago, my cousin’s best friend died after she was shot in the head by his American ex-husband. She was 34 years old.

Last Tuesday, another cousin (this time from my mom’s side) died in his sleep just after he had his lunch. He was 32 years old, a year older than me.

Just this morning, I turned on the PC and began surfing the net. One of the headlines was about the actor, Corey Haim, who died early today. He was 38.

Not to be melodramatic or anything, but these things have made me take notice of my age. I am 30. I am not saying that 30 year olds will drop like flies one of these days — but what I’m saying is that with the Grim Reaper hovering on my age bracket, I’ve become too conscious of death and the impact it has on people.

Two people I know died due to different circumstances–a distant acquaintance died due to violence, while a cousin died peacefully in his sleep.

I’ve come to taking stock of what I have accomplished in my 30 years — I’ve traveled comfortably, ridden a ship and a plane; married my best friend; stood up for what I think is right and left a comfortable job. The things I haven’t accomplished yet: provide a comfortable life for my mom and dad; have kids and find the work that I love.

Am I ready to die before my time? Like my cousin’s best friend, my cousin and Corey Haim?

But then again, who are we to say that “it is not yet the time”. After all, it is He who knows time, it is He who dictates the turning of the fates…everything happens not in our time, but His and His alone.

*Subita morte exstingui – Latin, “Dying before one’s time”

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