What to answer when someone tells you, “Ang taba mo ngayon?!?”

I got pissed-off with my dad last Saturday when (seeing me eating a small bar of chocolate) he said, “Kumakain ka pa ng chocolate eh ang taba mo na!” (Why are you still eating chocolate when you’re getting fat?)

In fact, I’ve gotten very sensitive about my weight. I am currently twenty pounds overweight, curvy and with love handles on places where I used to bare each summer at the beach. One mention of the word, “mataba ka na” (you’re fat) and I will really be annoyed. Due to this, I have come to avoid people in college just because I’ve grown tired of answering their “fat” questions. I also do not find it amusing when people say that “napabayaan ako sa kusina” (left alone in the kitchen) and has seriously contemplated cutting my relationship from a friend who–after years of not talking or seeing each other–said those exact words to me: “ang taba mo! mukha kang napabayaan sa kusina!”

I don’t know what is it with Pinoys and their big, stupid mouths. Is it a crime to have additional baggage around your waist? After all, it was your tub of lard and not theirs, in the first place! People do change. The scrawny little kid you used to bully in college might grow old to be curvy, a bit overweight?

Sometimes, it’s surprising that people don’t get that yes, we fat people have feelings. And maybe, if you will shut up and stop making crude jokes about how we look…maybe, you’ll make us feel better and appreciated. We are not side show freaks. We have feelings and they get hurt when you use words like “pig, hippo or elephant” to address or describe us.

Believe it or not. It’s not funny at all.

In four weeks, I’ll be the matron of honor during my best friend’s wedding. One wise-ass friend from college joked that the cloth distributed for the gowns might not be enough for my weight and body size. The fact that he is an overweight, balding geezer did not occur to him.

In his blog, “This is a crazy planets” at Spot PH, Lourd de Veyra provides the top 20 replies to the comment, “Uy, tumataba ka”.

Here they are:

1. “Bagong promo ng Belo Clinic.”
2. “Hindi, baby fat lang ‘yan.”
3. “Nagsarado kasi yung Fitness First sa amin.”
4. “A sure consequence of increasing personal wealth kasi yan. Ikaw mukha ka pa ring dukha.”
5. “That’s because I’m joining The Biggest Loser.”
6. Rep has auditions for Falstaff.
7. “Maganda nga abs mo, pero bobo ka pa rin.”
8. “I know you meant no malice, but you have no idea how much you hurt my feelings.”
9. “Fifty percent off on Thai Jasmine rice at Hi-Top Supermarket!”
10. ‘Ever heard of the East Beach Diet?”
11. Alam mo, sabi dati ni Roland Barthes, “Steak is part of the same sanguine mythology as wine. It is the heart of meat, it is meat in its pure state; and whoever partakes of it assimilates a bull-like strength. The prestige of steak evidently derives from quasi-rawness. In it, blood is visible, natural, dense, at once compact and sectile… To eat steak therefore represents both a nature and morality.”
12. “I mean, that’s just your opinion, man.”—Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski
13. “Bakit ikaw mukha kang floorwax?”
14. “Nagbasa ako ng Preview. Yan daw ang uso in the next six months.”
15. “Which is why I’ve been taking Xenical. And I’ve got this nice, moist feeling inside my pants.”
16. “Idol ko si Ate Shawee.”
17. “Ah, but the curve is the most beautiful of all the lines.”
18. “May sale kasi sa Tubby.”
19. “Does the phrase ‘Dove Beauty’ mean anything to you?”
20. “Tangina mo rin.”

My favorites are numbers 4, 8 and of course, number 20.
Use liberally.

2 Replies to “What to answer when someone tells you, “Ang taba mo ngayon?!?””

  1. i agree with the whole content of this post. Joking to someone that they gained weight or they are fat is a doing of an uneducated person. Whether it’s your best friend, your sibling or your dad, you have NO right of making fun of their pounds. To you it might be funny and witty but to them it’s a blow to their esteem and they’ll secretly have a grudge on you just for it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: