Toy Story: toys that makes me go “huh?”

Why are children’s toys like this?

I was in Toy Kingdom last night, trying to get some shopping done for the inaanaks. I was buying toys for the girls when I came across the following toys in the shelves…

Baby Alive – she eats! she drinks! she wets! she poops!

Toy Vacuum

I’m sorry Hansbro, but your Baby Alive series really scare the sh*t out of me. Not only are the dolls staring at me like they blame me for their existence, but I also don’t get it why they have to poop or wet themselves in order to please the legion of little girls. I mean, if I were a six year old kid, would I derive pleasure from changing diapers and wiping the poop out of their rears? Yeah, maybe for now and for the next two weeks. But it gets really tiring after a while. Not to say expensive for the parents who have to buy these “babies” diapers and formula.

Kids, you may call me hopelessly uncool but kindly enlighten your ate Lani why you even want to play with a baby doll who poops and wets herself and demands for your attention by feeding them with expensive formulas bought by your own parents. Don’t you know that when you finally get to have a child of your own–yes, a real one with a real artery and with real poop–you’d hate changing diapers and cleaning after their smelly poops. And when you grow up, you’d find parenting real hard, scary, challenging but utterly fulfilling? I don’t know about you kids, but if I were you, I’d stick to the baby doll who doesn’t poop and wet herself, the one that is forever stuck in a stoic expression….believe me, you’ll have the rest of your adult life to be a responsible parent. And no, practicing now doesn’t make you a good parent.

And what’s the deal with toy vacuum cleaners? Are we raising our kids to be master vacuumers (haha!)…I mean if we are to teach them the merits of proper housekeeping and proper cleaning, we might as well show ’em the real thing.

But what really gets my goat is the annoying small make-up sets that seems to be everywhere–in Divisoria, in Toy Kingdom, and even on sidewalk stalls. Personally, I hate it when kids are covered with make-up gunk: lips that are just too red, blue eyeshadow applied liberally making them look like aging disco queens and cheeks caked with sub-par blush. Young girls participating on adult events: weddings, santacruzans, graduations and even during school field days are often times too much caked in make-up, you’d hardly recognize them with all that gunk in their face. What’s up with parents wanting these kids to look like clowns from hell.

Come on, shouldn’t your kids look like kids?

Aside from the fact that harsh chemicals may damage their skin, would you want your kids to look like little GROs with too much make up in their faces?

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